Hey, how about that sizzling World Cup match between Lithuania/Transylvania and Monaco/Bago-Bago? The first half hour was close – zero to zero – but the next 30 minutes it kicked up to another notch – naught to naught. I ducked out to go to the bathroom once, then I dashed out during one scoreless stretch to lube the car.
What was more interesting, guys trying to Bend It Like Beckham or the bends in my bowl of Frito-Lay chips?
It says in this article Americans still don’t give a hoot about soccer, despite the trillions of hours spent by average U.S. parents on a million soccer fields every fall weekend. The fact is, soccer is 90 minutes of athletic foreplay followed by televised replays of the foreplay. Then comes the good part – drinking.
Only if your kid or grandkid is out there taking swipes at the checkered ball is it worth swiveling your head back and forth. Do the World Cup players make some great moves in the grass? Sure, but so do the rabbits in our garden. That can be watched without fear of riots.
Americans who consider Europe the height of sophistication should hop on a jet and sit check to jowl with 79,999 other deodorant-devoid humans on a sweltering 90-degree day as the little specks on the field run to and fro. Check out the barbed wire surrounding the field. That waits for the moment some man yells SCORE!!! And the real games begin.
